A Newsletter for Parenting Teens
Winter 2009
It’s Time to Begin…
Welcome to “It’s Time to go Beyond”. This quarterly newsletter is written with the intention of offering you pearls ~ for yourself and your family. For maximum benefit, I invite you to set aside ‘time’ to ponder. Go make a cup of something comforting and then come sit down to read this with the expectation of viewing your life as it is now… tomorrow… and beyond.
In this issue you will learn about the value of goal setting for yourself and teen, plus some interesting facts on sleep deprivation and the effects on a teenager.
Thank you, in advance, for sharing this newsletter with others.
A Time for Perspective…
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
What goals will you commit to this year ~
personally, professionally & parentally?
Goal setting is energizing, empowering and breeds confidence and success.
Would you agree that there is something about ‘2010’ which has more significance than the previous nine years? With a New Year come new dreams and resolutions. When reflecting on the previous year, many realize there are goals which weren’t fully achieved. Not being a fan of excuses, I ask you:
What are you doing differently to ensure more personal success this year?
Striving towards your goals clearly warrants importance. You created them, so somewhere inside they resonate with you.
If you keep doing what you’ve always done, then you will continue to get what you’ve always got! Without a plan, there is less likelihood for success. If you are serious about achieving your goals, then you must take the steps necessary to create change/forward movement, and write them down.
For additional support on setting and achieving your goals consider :
- Coaching with Helene (www.beyondexcuses.com)
- or visit http://www.goal-setting-guide.com/smart-goals.html
What goals has your teenager set for 2010?
Have you had the opportunity to discuss this with your teen? It is a great conversation starter. There are likely two sets ~ those desired by your teen and those established, lovingly by the parents on behalf of their teen.
There is so much to learn from hearing where your teenager’s heart is. Taking an interest in your teen on this personal level adds depth to your relationship. As a parent, it is so revealing to hear where their priorities lie and what dreams they have. This may not match our perceptions or expectations, but that is okay. Consider this conversation as a cheat sheet … you’ll have an inside glimpse of your child along with so much more understanding…because you took the time.
Remember… you have two ears and one mouth for a reason… shhh... listen!
To engage your teen in goal setting you must offer the respect and space so she / he can identify the areas of interest to grow/change. For most senior high school students, what they know of goal setting pertains to academics and grades. What about personal growth? Nurturing growth in a variety of directions empowers teens to feel control over their accomplishments and future, while enjoying success / rebounding when missing their mark. These are important life skills.
Of course, as a parent, you’ll want to lead by example. You’ve got to be organized and ready to begin with your own goals and plan. From a strong platform you will enjoy a productive and rewarding year and can then ‘coach’ your teen towards his / her goals.
A Time for Choices…
According to ‘Accent on Success’
Seven Benefits of Goal Setting for Teens:
- Goal setting will help your teenager recognize their abilities.
- Goal setting will give your teenager a sense of the bigger picture.
- Goal setting will help your teenager set priorities.
- Goal setting will help your teenager organize their time.
- Goal setting will give your teenager a sense of ownership.
- Goal setting will help your teenager build their self-image.
- Goal setting will help your teenager turn their dreams into reality.
- Goal setting is an educational function that gives teenagers a path for future success.
A Time For Health…
Click for Importance of Goal Setting (PDF)
Has your teen becoming lazier and sleeping more than ever?
Your teen could be suffering from sleep deprivation. There is a connection between health, happiness and a good night’s sleep. Late in puberty, a teenager’s circadian rhythm (the body’s guide to sleep-wake cycle) naturally shifts up to two hours. This is believed to be due to the body secreting melatonin (sleep-related hormone) at a different time of day than before.
According to local psychologist Dr. Michael de Jong, forcing oneself to go to sleep creates more frustration than success: “Have you ever ‘tried’ to fall asleep or ‘make yourself’ sleep? Doesn’t work, does it? Sleep does not respond the way we expect it to because it cannot be ‘controlled.’ Children and teenagers notice this when they are told to go to bed and it is biologically improbable or impossible that they will be able to sleep. Our culture and educational system demands that they do what we ourselves, as adults, cannot do; the result is tired, unhappy, poorly focused people who are frustrated with a system that ignores the reality not only of their body’s circadian rhythms but also of their mind’s inability to control the uncontrollable. At a critical, developmental time in a young person’s life, these demands, as well as others, contribute to the creation of values, attitudes and beliefs that are unhealthy.” http://drmikedejong.com
What are the effects of sleep deprivation on your teen?
According to the Canadian Sleep Society, “Adolescence is a vulnerable stage in development during which individuals need to attain social competence and acquire the skills and knowledge necessary to become self-sufficient members of society.” They also provide the following information:
1. Seven signs of a sleep disorder are:
- Often fall asleep during the day or in class (greatest incidence between 8:00 – 10:00 a.m.)
- Take over 30 minutes to get to sleep
- Often go sleep after midnight
- Often have great difficulty in getting up in time for school or work
- Snore a lot with intermittent pauses in breathing
- Complain of odd feelings or jumpiness in the legs
- Have decreased concentration or attention
2. Seven symptoms of sleep deprivation (aside from falling asleep in class) are:
- Sleepiness: leads to poor concentration
- Micro sleeps: are extremely short sleep spells that lead to lapses in attention
- Tiredness: leads to decreased motivation
- Behaviour: sleep deprivation increases irritability and decreases self-control
- Impairment: sleep deprivation can impair performance of critical tasks such as driving, and it acts synergistically with alcohol to increase impairment.
- Learning: sleep after a learning exposure is critical to the consolidation of its memory
- Brain development of the brain in adolescence that is responsible for self-control and affect regulation
3. Four tips to promote better sleep:
- Adequate sleep: adolescents need about 9 hours sleep, on average. If you are getting enough sleep you will awaken feeling refreshed and not tired.
- Regular sleep: it is important to maintain a regular sleep routine. It is important to go to bed and to wake at the same time every day. On weekends try to keep the same schedule
- Comfort: your bedroom should be quiet, dark and at a comfortable temperature
- Relaxation: avoid strenuous exercise, studying and computer games before bedtime. The flickering light from television can delay falling asleep
To learn more on how sleep deprivation may be undermining teen health:
http://www.apa.org/monitor/oct01/sleepteen.aspx
http://homeworktips.about.com/od/timemanagement/a/sleeptime.htm
To learn more about your teen having trouble sleeping at night:
http://www.kidsgrowth.com/resources/articledetail.cfm?id=913
For ideas on how to combat fatigue through nutrition:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200310/fighting-fatigue-diet
http://www.healthymenumailer.com/healthy-breakfast-smoothies.pdf
A Time for Solutions…
Upcoming Events!
TNT (Teens Need Time) Teleclasses*
During the 6 weeks, you will learn 7 tools to add to your parenting style to enhance the relationship with your teenager (so). The most significant benefit is that what you learn can apply immediately! Expect better conversations, more respect and less managing but more coaching your teen!
Registration begins February 8, 2010. Your class choices are:
- Thursdays 7:00 – 8:00 p.m. beginning on February 18th for 6 consecutive weeks
OR
- Fridays 10:00 – 11:00 a.m. beginning on February 19th for 6 consecutive weeks
Cost is $90. Class size is limited to 6. Register at Click here to register.
*a ‘teleclass’ is a class with a curriculum, taught by myself; you will be given a bridge line (located in the U.S. ~ so long distance charges will apply) to call into for the class. I will teach the first half and the remainder is open for discussion, etc. Participation is encouraged and will enhance your learning.
A Time to Look Beyond…
To celebrate of the arrival of spring, I have a limited time offer for you!
3 sessions of 1:1 coaching for only $225
Available until March 31st.
Email beyondexcuses@shaw.ca to take advantage of this offer.
A Time to Reflect…
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, but why limit it to one day? Everyone loves to be reminded of how much they are loved…especially teenagers. Consider adding some love to their day by popping a chocolate kiss into their lunch or slip a short, note affirming them left in their text book or on their pillow…
As Maya Angelou said, “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” Just like our children as they become adults
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Beyond Excuses™ • Phone: 604-535-6783 • E-mail: beyondexcuses@shaw.ca
